Lise The Loser’s Weblog

I was writing to my friend Christina complaining (go figure…me…complain…unheard of!) I was afraid that I’m becoming a boring bandster now that I’m in this post-surgery/pre-fill/no restriction phase. So, the brilliant recently banded Christina wrote:

“First of all, you are not a boring bandster, you can always give updates on your pain.  I know that is always a popular topic, people always to know what to expect.  You can give an update so the people behind you can get an idea of how you are doing these days… are you totally pain free?  do you not feel like your innards are coming out anymore?  Are you pooping normally, eating normally, getting all the protein, do you have hiccups (I do) yadda yadda yadda.  How it felt the first time you sneezed.  (hurts!)  that’s all stuff that at least I would want to know.  we all know you hate exercise so i wont look for that “

Isn’t she a smart cookie? I think so! So here are the answers (I feel like I’m being interviewed…how fun!):

Are you totally pain free?  Yes! I’m totally 100% pain free. I would say I became pain free at the 2.5 week mark. I can now sleep on any side I like, twist, turn, bend, and all of the other wonderfullness that comes with being pain free. I remember feeling like I would always have some pain during the 2nd week…when it hurt to even sit for long periods of time – but this is over. I forget I even have the band in me. Port pain is a thing of the past.

Do you not feel like your innards are coming out anymore? Not at all. I think this was paranoia from the port incisions. I’ve never really been “sliced” into and I was just being silly…but that only lasted for about 2 days after I was banded.

Are you pooping normally? I never really pooped normally…maybe one poop every other day…and they were never “easy” poops…but the benefiber sure helps! I remember I once saw on Oprah that when you look at your poops in the toilet they should be in the shape of a C or an S (you look at your poops, I know you do). With the benefiber, I do poop every morning like clockwork – and they are “good, simple” poops. It’s oddly fulfilling. Definitely one less thing to worry about!

Eating normally? Totally normal. Everything except for bread, pasta, rice, crackers, etc. Basically nothing with wheat or too many carbs. But I eat steak, carrots, all fish, chicken, mushrooms, tuna fish, squash, etc. Have not had a problem yet…no vomiting…sometimes I wonder if the band is really in me or if it’s all a mental test and I’m “rat number 2128″.

Getting all the protein? Most definitely. I eat tuna everyday for lunch and have either steak, chicken or salmon for dinner each night. I am Mrs. Protein. I also drink a SlimFast-a-ccino shake every night before bed because it makes me feel like I’m having ice-cream. Yummm. It’s packed with protein, as well.

Do you have hiccups? Not right now. Do you? I’ve had the hiccups – and they hurt like hell during the first couple of weeks of banding – but now when I hiccup, burp, laugh, sneeze, cough, etc I feel no pain. I think it’s your stomach muscles reaction to the surgery…but once you are healed, it’s all better.

How it felt the first time you sneezed? Like my innards were going to come out of me. It felt like my stomach was going to burst. But now I sneeze like there’s no tomorrow and I feel no stomach pain.

I hope this helped. I hope I’m not becoming a boring bandster. If you have any questions, they definitely help me to come up with band-related things to write about. So remember, keep the comments coming. And Christina – you ROCK!